Okikagu one-shot collection
by Nymeria-winter
Summary: collection of one-shots about the daily life of our married couple Okita and Kagura [Rated T for kagura's mouth]
1. Chapter 1 april fools

**author's note: this is my first fanfiction ever, that's why I really need your honest thoughts about this so I can improve my writing skills,**

 **kit Harington prank on Leslie rose got me inspired to write this XD**

 **ps: I may continue this as a collection of okikagu one-shots if I got some new ideas.**

 **ps : kagura is 22yo and sougo is 26yo**

* * *

It was Saturday afternoon, 1 April, kagura was exhausted from work, since yorozuya happens to get a lot of requests today, actually they spent the whole morning pranking people for money, she didn't understand why they did so, well she didn't bother to ask why, so in order to rest she decided to throw herself on the couch near the kitchen and get some sleep, but unfortunately for her Okita Sougo her iconic husband just got back from work and to her surprise he was accompanied by her two earth guardians and the Mayo freak _'hmm !? why are they here?'_ she thought to herself,

'' Gin-chan! shinpachi! what happened !?'' ,

'' hmmm? so we are not allowed to visit our Kagura ?'' ,

''nothing Kagura-chan we just met Okita-san on our way so we decided to drop by to say hello'',

''ooh is that so? and you Mayora? I thought you and the sadist hate each other's guts ?'',

a vein popped on hijikata's head right away '' Oi! stop calling me Mayora and yes I do hate his guts'', to stop this pointless conversation from getting any further Okita had to interrupt them,

''Now now China, stop acting like a policeman that's my job you know'' he said with his usual deadpanned voice,

'' I just wanted to make sure that you guys are not doing anything fun without my knowledge, I really want to tag alone if it is the case…'',

'' you will, soon..'' he mumbled under his breath so that she wouldn't hear him,

''why are you guys still standing there !? you can sit here while I go wake sadaharu'' with that Kagura left the four men by themselves.

* * *

''are you still going to do this? because I don't think this will end with a happy ending'' said gin with a worried face,

''yeah Okita-san I think this is quite harsh for Kagura-chan to stand even if she's a Yato'',

''for once I do completely agree with these too, sougo I think you are going too far with this…and who knows what your wife will do to us once she finds out what we did'' hijikata said completely devasted by the thought of the china girl punishing them,

''Nah mates it's too late'' sougo smirked ''I already put the thing in the fridge'', the three men started at HIM with horrified faces _'shit shit shit shit..'_ gin cursed mentally _'I don't wanna die young,I don't even have kids yet'_ , footsteps were heard coming, kagura approch the men sitting on the couch, ''oh look who decided to show up, hey China come sit beside us'', she made her way to the couch and sat down next to her husband, she sighted '' I didn't know sadaharu was lazier than me, I mean comon he slept for too long and now he doesn't want to wake up and play with me…'' while kagura was complaining about her dog behaviour the four men were having an inner conversation,

 _'common boss ask her to bring you cold water or something from the fridge !'_ ,

 _'why don't you ask her yourself !?''_ ,

 _'she would never take orders from me Danna and you know it'_ ,

 _'aren't you two actually married dammit? hey, Hijikata-Kun shinpachi-Kun say something I'm not the only in this mess '_ ,

 _'gin-san you're the only whom kagura will actually listen to'_ ,

 _'yeah yoruzuya you're the only one'_ ,

 _'assholes…'_ ,

 _'common boss you're not going to screw my impressive prank at the very end after we end this I'll give you as much strawberry milk you want'_ ,

'I'M IN',

''HEY ASSHOLES WHO DO YOU THINK IM TALKING TO ?'' shouted kagura after being ignored for 5min,

''calm down China we were actually listening'',

'' I probably need to drink some cold water before I LOSE MY MIND '' kagura stands from the couch heading straight toward the fridge,

''so our conversation was a waste? Is she actually heading toward the fridge by her own will? my China is actually helping ?'',

''oooh my poor kagura I'm sorry I'm so sorry but strawberry milk above all'',

''Otsu-chan CDs above all'',

''Mayonnaise above all''.

 _'What are those freaks doing back there whispering ?'_ said kagura while opening the fridge, Sougo preapared his phone to record this amazing moment that he was waiting for, the other men were starting with horror at what was coming next, kagura frozed for a moment at the sight before her and then BOOM ! she started screaming '' KYAAAAAAAAAAAAA'' until she fell to her knees in tears, a severed replica head of sougo, placed delicately by him among the fruit on the top shelf of the fridge, Gintoki, shinpachi and even Hijikata were laughing so hard at the sight, as for sougo, he was so done with her reaction it was priceless, he headed toward her where she was kneeling and he said '' **April Fools** '',

''WHAT ?'' she said while still crying '' **YOU FUCKING SADISTIC BASTARD YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS I SWEAR !** ''.

Edo hospital 2 APRIL :

'' women are so hard to understand '' sougo sighted, '' it was just a prank nothing big, she even threatened to Divorce me if I repeat it ever again !'', ''souichirou-kun you should be thankful she didn't kill us at least'',

'' you deserve this sougo, you actually put a head on her fridge, what a sadist !'',

''mmm guys care to explain why **she broke my glasses instead of me ?** ''


	2. Chapter 2 opposite day

**After growing tired of waiting for Kagura to confess her feeling for him out loud without including insults, Sougo convinces her that it's opposite day**

* * *

They were both sitting at the table facing each other, Kagura was eating her breakfast or rather devouring it while sougo was just sitting there thinking,  
'' What are you doing fool ?'' kagura finally noticed that sougo was spacing out somewhere instead of eating, '' if you don't want to eat your meal just give it to me then'',

''what day is it today China ?'',

''uh, Friday ?'',

'' you clearly have no clue what day it is, do you ?''

''I clearly don't care'',

''it's the Opposite day !'' ,

''Opposite what ?'' she asked very confused at his statement

'' You mean you've never heard of it? Girl, have you been missing out! Opposite Day is the one day of the year when you get to act different! Normally I'm annoying the hell out of you, teasing you, insulting you, but today I'm quite and I wouldn't bother you !'',

''really? So it's basically an occasion for people to act out of character ?'',

''it's not that they act out of character, people act the same they're just doing it the opposite way, it's like a game'',

''Does everybody know about Opposite day ?'',

''yeah of course! it's not like that everyone here is a yato coming from a far away planet and doesn't know much about earth celebrations..'', sougo said while smirking, kagura glared at him ''I thought you said that you wouldn't bother me today ?'',

''If I'm going to play this game you've to do it as well which means you've to act friendly too or else I'm not doing it'',

' _no I shouldn't let this beautiful opportunity slip away from me, thanks to this wonderful day he'll act nicely toward me which means I'll be at total peace today_ ', ''so.. ?'', kagura snapped from her thought after hearing sougo's voice,

'' yeah I'm playing !, I'll act the opposite way !''she responded,

Sougo couldn't help but chuckle a bit, ' _what a naive wife I have she's too easy to convince, I need to teach her a lesson so she would stop trusting people without thinking !'_ he smirked at the thought, Sadaharu was sitting under the table confused about what was happening, after being on earth for so long the dog never witnessed such a day, he decided to come out from under the table, ''Woof !'',

''Sadaharu, where's your holiday spirit?'' kagura frowned,

''Meow !'', and with this sadaharu went out of the house meowing instead of barking, ''what the hell just happened now ?'' sougo started at Kagura looking for an answer,

''wish I could know''

''okay nevermind,I'll be going to work now'' he headed straight toward the door and then he stopped for a moment and said ''Goodbye sweetie'' he smirked at her and left, Kagura blushed furiously ' _thank god he left before seeing my face, ughh stop blushing dammit'_ , and then she realized something, ''wait he said sweetie ? which means he means the opposite! what an asshole…''.

* * *

''I'm back'', sougo just returned back from work preparing himself to proceed his plan, ''welcome back'' a voice replied from the living room kagura was cleaning the house, sougo blinked _'it's working my plan is working !'_ , ''what are you doing love ?'', the last word echoed on her ears, frankly, she feels very happy hearing sougo calling her with these romantic nicknames instead of china…but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction to know that, besides by calling her 'love' he actually meant the opposite which she didn't like,

''I'm cleaning the damn house, what do you think I'm doing here ?'',

''I remember we had an agreement _love, did we ?''_

' _oh shit I have to act nice',_ ''oh yeah I'm sorry'' kagura apologized with a smile on her face, _'If only this fake day was real'_ sougo thought to himself. After changing his clothes sougo headed to where Kagura was so he can finish his plan and gets what he wanted from the start, he sat down next to her and asked suddenly '' hey love tell me how do you feel about me ?'',

'' eeeh? what are you talking about all of sudden ?'',

'' I'm the one who asked a question first respond to mine and then I'll respond to yours '', he explained a smile never leaving his face, _'what's wrong with him',_ '' Okay I Ha—'' she stopped and thought before continuing _'wait If I say I hate him he will think I said I love him ! so I have to say the opposite'_ ,

''Hello ?'', again sougo's voice snapped her from her own thought, ''you what ?'' he asked, ''I LOVE YOU and I can't live without you'' _'here we go'_ sougo pulled his phone from his pocket to record her confession, Kagura continued ''you're the air I would kill to breathe, when you leave the house every day to go working I feel so lonely, please stay home more often'', _'how sweet I would never delete this'_ he smirked while thinking ,

''okay now china I have to give an answer to your question right ?'',

' _China? why is he calling me this now ?'_ , ''Yeah I guess'' kagura said with a suspicious face,

''China I'm sorry but there's nothing such as the opposite day I just invented it from my mind in order to make you confess your eternal feelings for me _out loud_ , by the way, I recorded it, wanna hear it ?'', kagura was shocked '' you son of a bitch ! you can't do this delete the damn record right now !'',

''how about no ?'', a big sadistic smirk was on sougo's face, ''then you'll die right now !'', kagura pulled her umbrella and started shooting at sougo, he didn't have his sword beside him unfortunately which lead him to no choice but to get out and run away from the house, Kagura followed him outside chasing after him, they passed near yorozuya, ''delete it now and I'll spare your life''  
''no'',  
Gintoki watched them bickering and sighed '' young love''.

* * *

 **A/N: so I finally decided to turn this into a collection of one-shots, hope you like this chapter**

 **I got inspired from one of SpongeBob episodes XD**


End file.
